World renowned psychologist, Daniel Goleman's research confirmed that your success in life is based on your ability to handle your emotions rather than on your intellectual capability.
Think about this again...your success in life depends on the way you handle your emotions.
The good news is that your emotional intelligence can be fostered, developed and enhanced throughout your life.
Start first with self-awareness. Connect the link between your thoughts and your reactions. How is it humanly possible to think emotionally during a heated debate or an important business deal?
The answer is to get out of your head, and into your heart. Learn to make your brain and your heart best friends. The more we learn and tune into the intelligence of the heart, the more educated, balanced and coherent our emotional state becomes.
If you have been following the popular culture of success which pushes the mindset; well that will partially get you to where you need to go in life. Without your heart's guidance, you can easily fall prey to reactive emotions such as anger, fear, and blame. This lack of connection with your heart brings out chronic disease and accelerated aging.
Negative emotions such as anger, resentment, depression, and anxiety bring your nervous system out of balance as these emotions create heart rhythm patterns that are jagged and distorted. In my clinic, we use a program called HeartMath, where we map out a patients heart rate and emotional imbalance. In a patient with a hyperactive amygdala or a constant state of fear, we see a cardiac rhythm that is distorted. In contrast, a patient who is actively connected to their heart produces smooth balanced harmonious rhythms. Once you learn to shift your heart's rhythm, you start to become more present, creative and aware of your thoughts and actions in life.
When you have a coherent cardiac rhythm you virtually start to impact every single organ in your body. Here are the core emotional states that affect both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system: happiness, appreciation, compassion, care and love. These emotional states reduce the production of a stress hormone called cortisol and increase the production of an anti-aging hormone called DHEA. DHEA is a powerful hormone- it has both protective and regenerative effects on our body.
When you experience these heart-centered emotions you boost levels of IgA. IgA is your immune system's first line of defenders to fight off infections and disease. These heart-centered emotions also play a role in managing blood pressure, cardiovascular disease and optimizing aging.
To achieve these stellar health results from your connection with your heart there are a few things that need to happen...
First: Understand the Role Your Heart Plays in Your Health. When we speak of the brain, we are thinking things like calculations, risk, manipulation, and even self-punishment. However, when speaking of the heart, we are thinking of qualities such as care, love, wisdom, intuition, understanding, gratitude and appreciation. The brain is processing information which is linear and logical-"Is it good for me or bad for me?" and it basically uses your past experiences in life to make sense of the present/ The intelligence of the heart, on the other hand, is more intuitive.
Your heart is constantly searching and scanning for new intuitive understanding. The saying goes like this: "The head knows but the heart understands."
When we are engaged with our heart, our mind slows down, and we become more rational focused and creativity starts to flow. Just like a cell phone tower emits an electromagnetic energy field, your heart has a powerful electromagnetic field which happens to be about five thousand times greater than your brain's electromagnetic field. It can be measured eight to ten feet away from your body. Scientists use a tool called magnetometers. This electromagnetic not only sends signals to nearly every part of your body but can be sensed by other people around you. Have you ever walked into a room and sensed that someone is angry or another person in the same room is ready to hug the world? We have the ability to learn these emotions and befriend our hearts and minds.
1. Appreciation - Learn to consistently be thankful and approve your life. As you practice this skill of being in gratitude, your life will grow in value. Branches of the nervous system-both sympathetic and parasympathetic, become synchronized, allowing you to enjoy just enough stimulation and relaxation at the same time. You will notice your heart rhythm will become more smooth and coherent. Once you start appreciating your life, you start to smooth out the lumpy bumpies in life! Your day and life no longer feels like a burden and can start to flow with the current of life. You will start to see more opportunities in life. This will be reflected in your electromagnetic field as you will start to attract positive people, circumstances, situations and prospects.
2. Non-Judgement - Are you living in a sea of judgment? Remember, your mind likes to catalog information. An active mind without direct instructions from your heart tends to adopt strong opinions about both past and present situations and makes up options such as 'who's right' or 'who's not', whats 'good' or whats 'bad'.
When speaking about the judgment, I am speaking about the rigid negative opinions that separate us from others. These judgments let us point fingers on others and considers ourselves superior. By increasing and developing heart intelligence you can start to objectively look at your mistakes and learn from them. Here's a small exercise you can do: When you start to have judgmental thoughts, start catching yourself and observe the reactive thoughts that follow.
3. Forgiveness - Once you start to appreciate the world around you and add more love in your life, your life becomes more rich and engaging. Forgiveness can be tricky-patients often tell me they have forgiven someone however...they typically go on to suffer for years and decades because they have not actually learned to forgive.
Putting those old lingering wounds to rest requires a strong act of forgiveness. The first step towards forgiveness is that first, you send love to yourself- feel the open wound, feel the pain and name the emotions associated with it. As you feel these emotions, name these emotions and transform them to emotions of love and forgiveness for yourself and others. Do not hesitate to turn the power of love towards yourself. It is harder to forgive ourselves.
Like I mentioned, forgiveness is tricky. Watch out for compromised forgiveness. Anytime you say, "I have forgiven them for this one act but not for this second thing they did to me." or, if you catch yourself saying, "I have forgiven them but I never want to speak with them again or see him or her again." That is compromised forgiveness.
So I have provided you with three powerful tools today: gratitude, non-judgement and forgiveness. I believe these tools will help you build the power for transformation that lies waiting within you. With less static and discord in your life, and more engagement with your hearts intelligence, you will start to shift those heart rhythms and start to heal your hormonal and immune systems and likely all the rest of your body.
I hope you learned some useful and powerful tools in my toolkit for healing! I look forward to sharing more tools with you pretty soon.
A lot of you have asked me to start a digital mentoring program where you will have me as your personal mentor. I have created a unique step-by-step program called, The Path to Healing. Registration is open, and I cannot wait to meet you inside my program and start working with you.
Until our next clinical training session...
Take care, More Love,
Kiran Grewal MD
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